Definition

What defines me? 

My martial status, my children, my upbringing?    -- Yes, Yes and Yes
I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend.  I am a sister of Alpha Xi Delta, which has always been very important because some of these women are truly the sisters I never had.  I would NOT change anything in my life - It is What it Is.  But there is always a BUT.

What I am trying to say is I wouldn't do anything differently but I wonder if I did it differently would the outcome be what I really wanted.  I have put alot of faith in people, but I am starting to believe that my expectations were just too high. 

Many things have happened this year.  Life changing things. But I am thinking about the things that I wish didn't happen, like losing a family member (not by death).  Something happened to us, something that I knew would eventually happen, but I had hoped it never would.  Someone close to me took something special and we can never get it back.   It wasn't just the materialism, but the memories.  It still saddens me after many months, because it wasn't just one family member I lost.  It was a whole side because rather than stand behind the truth, they stood behind blood.  Even though we too are blood, our blood wasn't thick enough.  I want things to be different, but in the end, We weren't the wrong doers.  Should I just let bygones be bygones, or stand our ground. 

I don't feel like they lost anything, I feel like we lost them.  My expectations were that since we didn't do anything wrong we would be supported, not cast aside.  I really felt very close to my family, but I guess I was wrong, if we are so easily forgotten.  I wish I could just learn to let it go, they have, when we are around them they act as though nothing happened.  Nothing changed, but I know deeply that Everything has Changed and I am not sure where we go from here.

Damianisms

Haven't been on here in a while.  Life is BUSY!  And stressful!  Too much going on and not stuff I want to go on and on about here.

Family  Picture - Damian 4 -- Brayden 9 months

But a quick laugh from the big bad 4 year old!  How to Train a Dragon recently came out on DVD so we bought it to have a family movie night,  Watched it, loved it and then Damian wanted to know if he could go to the Dragon Park. 

Damian:  Mommy can we go to the Dragon Park

Me:  Damian I don't know where the Dragon Park is, I don't know of any Dragon Park

Damian:  Mommy you know the Dragon Park
Me:  No Damian, I don't know where it is
Damian:  Are you kidding me?
Me.  No I am not kidding, I really don't know where the Dragon Park is
Damian:  Mommy you are impossible
Me:  Thanks....LOL!

He makes me smile even when things aren't the best, I love him so much.

Brayden:  cruising, crawling, eating everything, 9 month stats - 22 lbs, 28.5 inches, still not sleeping.

Ricky:  Crossing our fingers for a job and real answers on his back issues.

Me:  Working on the photography business, not sleeping, stressing and trying to remain thankful for the kids health and smiles!



Boys at the "Touch a Truck" Event